TEACHER'S UNDERWEAR STORY
(excerpts from posts)
(If you want to retell any of the stories listed below, be sure to obtain permission from the copyright holder if the material is not in the public domain)

1) >How about the Chinese story The Teacher's Underwear from Laurence Yep's Tongues of Jade? It's one of my favorites - the first line is
"There once was a teacher called Patience . . ."

Bones - Patience is a scholar but very forgetful. Always fails the exams that would allow him to become a governmental official. To make a living, teaches school in the village - classroom is a side room in the temple reserved for the clan's ancestors - living quarters in a room further inside.

Because he spends all his money on books, has only one robe and a single pair of underpants. One day, school holiday, decides to wash his underpants. Hangs them on the line to dry and sits back to meditate on a saying from one of his favorite books: Pride harvests disaster; humility gathers reward.

Hears knock on door - puts on robe and goes to answer. One of his students, Evergreen - invites him to his brother's wedding to recite some poetry, etc. Patience refuses because of underwear, but excuse he gives is too many papers to grade. Evergreen leaves but returns - clan elders have ordered Patience to put his labors aside and come to wedding.

Goes to wedding wearing only his robe, no underpants. Evergreen's father pours wine in his bowl - Patience becomes tipsy.

As wedding progresses people tell stories and play jokes. Patience recites, muddles up a poem, but clan appreciates him anyway. Evergreen and his friends decide to play a joke of their own. They take a jade bracelet from the table of wedding gifts and hide it in a hollow tree outside - stand back to see what will happen. Servant notices bracelet is missing, reports to father and elders. One elder announces that everyone will be searched. Patience in a panic - gets at the end of the line - hoping bracelet is found before everyone discovers his lack of underwear.

As searchers comedown the line gets more and more nervous. Refuses to be searched and bolts - runs to the temple with a howling mob behind him. Gets there first, locks door, grabs underwear off line - opens door and says, :"You may search me now. " Searchers turn schoolroom and living quarters upside down without finding bracelet, which, of course is still in hollow tree.

Next day, no children come to school - no one wants to be taught by a thief. Patience runs out of money has to sell his beloved books one by one. When last book is sold, leaves village with nothing but a stick to drive off dogs and a bowl. Earns his meager portion of rice by reciting "pearls of wisdom" in the market places of various towns. Sleeps out of doors, becomes more ragged and dirty as years go by.

One day is in the market place of a village, reciting fragments from his lost library. Young man stops in front of him, asks him how a man of such obvious learning has come to this sorry state. Patience recites his own story. Young man, ashamed, says he is Evergreen and knows where the bracelet is, says boys were too frightened at consequences of their prank to admit their guilt. Patience insists on going back to village immediately, finding bracelet and clearing his name. This they do - and when the elders have heard the entire story, they restore Patience's school to him and buy back his library as well as a new robe and TWO pair of underpants. The guilty students are condemned expiate their guilt by taking turns washing their teacher's underwear.