ELEPHANT STORIES AND LORE
(excerpts
from posts)
(If you want to retell any of the stories listed below, be sure
to obtain permission from the copyright holder if the material
is not in the public domain)
1) Try rattling this off (really fast) to your anesthesiologist and crew as they attempt to put you under!"
Q. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
A. "Here come the elephants!"
Q. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming wearing sunglasses?
A. Nothing. She didn't recognize them!
Q. Why do elephants wear blue tennis shoes?
A. Because their red ones are in the wash!
Q. Do you know why elephants paint their toenails red?
A. So they can hide in cherry trees.
Q. Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? (They always respond, "No")
A. It works, doesn't it!
Q. Why do elephants put springs on the bottom of their feet?
A. So they can jump out of cherry trees.
Q. Do you know what the most terrifying sound to a native?
A. BOING....BOING.......BOING.....BOING!!!!
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2) My favorite jokes from my childhood (the first one ;-)
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp our forest fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out flaming ducks.
I even have my Scholastic paperback book of elephant jokes!
3) And of course, the followup to that line is...
Q. What's that stuff between elephants' toes?
A. Slow natives. (or, if following up the BOING-BOING one, "Deaf natives.")
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4) “No More Car Wash Blues” – Two elephants work at a car wash while pursuing their dreams of becoming a chef and singer.
by Artie Knapp
http://www.candlelightstories.com/Stories/NoMoreCarWashBlues.htm
Artie K. 2/5/08
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(This
web page updated 3/9/05; 2/5/08)