DEATH STORIES
(excerpts from posts)
(If you want to retell any of the stories listed below, be sure to obtain permission from the copyright holder if the material is not in the public domain)

1) http://iul.com/raindrop/index.htm

2) http://urbanlegends.about.com/msubdead.htm?once=true&

3) A book entitledSome Folk Say: Stories of Life, Death, & Beyond, collected by Jane Hughes Gignoux. It is divided into five sections: Origins of Death, Balancing Life and Death, Lessons for Life, After Death, and Reconciliation with Death. There are 7-12 stories within each section. They include stories like Coyote and Raven, Godfather Death (Grimm), The Death-Stone (Buddhist), The Garden of Eden (Rabbinic Jewish), and Let Me Drink Wine (Nigerian). Many cultures are represented. Most of the stories are fairly short (anywhere from 1 page up to 5 pages). The book also includes a short commentary on each of the stories.

3) http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/aging.html#grief

4) One story is The Cowtail Switch and another is The Mustard Seed and variations thereof. Also, The Sword of Wood (the version I most use is from Doorways to the Soul: 52 Wisdom Tales from Around the World, edited by Elisa Pearmain- a wonderful book!)

5) Storymaking in Bereavement Dragons Fight in the Meadow by Alida Gersie. (1991) It's a 300+ page book that offers stories about death and grief from all around the world. The table of contents lists the stories by topic and then offers an additional table of contents that lists the stories by place of origin, North America, South America, Oceania, Europe, Asia, and Africa.

6) A story from Nepal is called The Woodcutter. The woodcutter in the story locks death into a huge tree that he purposefully had prepared to snare him. All woes continue and worsen since death is nowhere to be found. Finally, Lord Shiva comes and corrects things...and at Death's request he makes Death invisible to man from that day forward.

7) Why the Dead Do Not Come Back, Tales from In the Reign of Coyote. Folklore from the Pacific Coast adapted by by Katherine Chandler.
http://www.geocities.com/ruritanian_muglug/coyote.html

8) Just to perk things up, thought I'd draw your attention to some stories, thoughts, proverbs and superstitions on the subject of death and aging.... Some of this is quite amusing yet at the same time quite sobering...
http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/aging.html#realism

9) Or Heavenly Humor
I asked the children in my Sunday School class. "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?"
"NO!" the children all answered.
"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?"
Again, the answer was, "NO!"
"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my wife, would that get me into Heaven?" I asked them again.
Again, they all answered, "NO!"
"Well, I continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?"
A five-year-old boy shouted out, "YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!"

10) Why are dead people referred to as 'late'?
In Old English, cwic meant alive. This word became 'quick', meaning quick. By the time of Shakespeare and the King James Bible, the opposite of dead was still 'quick'. 'Tis for the dead, not for the quick' (Hamlet); 'to judge the quick and the dead' (Acts, and 1 Peter). As the Old English word for slow was loet - the origin of 'late' - satisfying pairs of opposites emerge: alive or dead, quick or slow, cwic or laet.
Copland Smith, in the Guardian 3/10/02.

11) Come again in the spring by Richard Kennedy and Annie and the Old One by Miles. Both deal with wanting to delay death.

12) URL no longer valid.

13) The Voice of Death
(provided by Rick Walton's Online Library)
http://www.rickwalton.com/folktale/red16.htm

14) There's a readable/tellable version of this (Chaucer's Pardoner's Tale) in Jennifer Westwood's Medieval tales.

15) The Pardoner's Tale inspired Kipling to write a fine Mowgli story, as well, The King's Ankh. I first read it in The Classics Comic version. Also read Puss in Boots in that format. Both worked really well that way. Certain good stories seem move between media with very little strain.

16) This is just a really weird true story from Las Vegas that came up in my search:
http://www.lasvegassun.com/sunbin/stories/special/1998/sep/28/507796585.html

17) I'm not sure the Irish songs of passing or wakes that I know are suitable for kids. Songs that deal with leaving this world...
Roisin the Bow (about drinking)
http://www.ireland-information.com/irishmusic/roisinthebow.shtml

Finnegan's Wake (about drinking and fighting)
http://devel.diplom.org/manus/music/irish/finnegan.html

The Parting Glass (traditional farewell)
http://www.contemplator.com/ireland/pglass.html

THE PARTING GLASS
Oh, all the money e'er I had,
I spent it in good company,
And all the harm I've ever done,
alas it was to none but me,
And all I've done for want of wit
to mem'ry now I can't recall;
So fill to me the parting glass,
goodnight and joy be with you all.

Oh, all the comrades e'er I had,
they're sorry for my going away,
And all the sweethearts e'er I had, t
hey'd wished me one more day to stay.
But since it falls unto my lot,
that I should go and you should not,
I'll gently rise and softly call,
goodnight and joy be with you all.

If I had money enough to spend,
And leisure time to sit awhile,
There is a fair maid in this town,
That sorely has my heart beguiled.
Her rosy cheeks and ruby lips,
I own she has my heart in thrall,
Then fill to me the parting glass,
Good night and joy be with you all.

18) Here is my music class on line....scroll down for the individual tunes....
http://www.geocities.com/justirishmusic/ersesong.html

19) Here is the main menu of my Irish culture class. Music has several parts. I am sure someting in gaelic will be there if not several....good luck!
http://www.bcpl.net/~hutmanpr/bibs.html#Lesson

20) Solomon in kimono: Tales of Ooka, a wise judge of old Yedo by I.G. Edmonds, Pacific Stars and Stripes, 1956, is one source for the Ooka story.

21) Here's a poem I've used. The only source I have is Anon/Author Unknown, though I've never tried to verify that claim. Perhaps some of you may find a place where it is helpful.
**************
Miss Me--But Let Me Go
When I come to the end of the road,
And the sun has set for me,
I want no rites in gloom-filled rooms,
Why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little--but not too long,
And not with your head bowed low;
Remember the love that we once shared
Miss me--but let me go.
For this is a journey that we all must take,
And each must go alone.
It's all a part of the Master's plan,
A step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick at heart,
Go to the friends we know,
And busy your sorrows in doing good deeds.
Miss me--but let me go.

22) The Man Who Wanted to Live Forever is an English folktale. One version of it was retold by Selina Hastings/illustrated by Reg Cartwright, published by Henry Holt and Company, Inc. c1988.
ISBN: 0-8050-0572-2
New and used books at:
The Man Who Wanted to Live Forever
There is also a section of stories about death in Favorite Folktales from Around the World (Pantheon Fairy Tale and Folklore Library), edited by Jane Yolen, Pantheon Books, c1986.
ISBN 0-394-54382-3

23) Ooka and the Death Decree comes from Case of the Marble Monster and Other Stories by I.G. Edmonds Scholastic, 1961. It was originally published as Ooka the Wise and may well have been reissued since. The story concerns the Shogun's decision to follow the law to the letter. When a young serving maid drops a vase belonging to his ancestor, she comes afoul of an order promulgated some years before that anyone who destroyed anything belonging to his grandfather, the great Iyeasu, would be put to death. The Shogun does not want to put the girl to death, but he also does not want to be seen not to be following his own law. As his advisor, Ooka solves the problem by saying the girl must be put to death, as well as himself for allowing the Shogun to make a foolish pronouncement, but only after the girl finishes paying for the extremely valuable vase worth 100 mon. He orders that the girl pay for it at the rate of one mon a year. "One mon a year! Have you lost your reason? " cried the shogun. "It will take her a hundred years to pay! She cannot possibly live so long." The old judge smiled. "With your permission, my lord, I will order her to try." Slowly the shogun's look of astonishment changed to a smile. "And I order you to try to live as long yourself," he said.

24) One of my favourite death stories is Death and the Gardener: here is the skeleton
http://www.talesandmusic.de/tales/death_gardener.htm

After telling it (and the atmosphere is still pretty deep then) I do three phases:
1. Tell your partner what you saw/felt/heard/smelt in the garden.
2. Describe the appearance of the king.
3. Now some years later, the king had a grandchild. One day, the king was walking hand in hand with his grandchild through the garden. He remembered all that had happened. He looked at his grandchild and decided that this was a story the child was now old enough to hear.
So sitting on a bench (perhaps the one you have described), by a small stream (perhaps one you have mentioned), the king began: "My child, once upon a time my gardener came here and saw ..."
Turn to your partner and - in the voice of the king telling his grandchild the story - begin: "My child, once upon a time my gardener came here and saw ..."

After a couple of minutes I then softly call "Change teller" and the other partner continues.

Sometimes, especially with classes which are very keen, the more traditional classroom discussion will also develop. But if it follows a partner phase, it is often easier for more to join in.
Richard M. Germany 1/26/06
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25) Another Jewish death joke... Wife takes ill, knows she's going to die. She commissions a painting of herself as commemoration. Now, she's not very rich, but she instructs the painter to paint her in an elaborate gown. "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm sure." Then she tells the painter to paint her in a diamond necklace. "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm sure." Then she tells the painter to paint her in ruby and diamond earrings. "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm sure." Then she tells the painter to cover her hands in rings and bracelets of priceless gems. Now the painter's had it. He says, "This isn't who you are at all! Why are you having me paint all of this stuff on you?" "My husband's still pretty young. After I die, he'll probably take a new wife, and I want her to spend half her life looking for the damn jewels."
Mary G. 5 /15/06
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26) My best friend's father was a real one-liner. He had a joke for everything. He had to have to the last laugh (so to speak)....one Saturday he felt "odd" and they took him to the emergency room at the hospital. After a battery of tests, the young doctor exclaimed that he was in excellent health for a man in his eighties. With that Chuck promptly fell over dead. Yup, that was Chuck. At his funeral there were books with his one-liners, and you can bet his eulogy was peppered with puns and, of course, with Chuck's last laugh.
Marilyn K.
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27) A man had four sons. Three of them were strong, handsome men. The fourth one was weak and spindly. He often wondered if maybe this son was not his, but he did not want to doubt his wife. He never spoke of it. Yet, as he lay on his death bed, he realized that he could not be comfortable about it. He asked his wife to tell him the truth. Was that boy really his son. She smiled and told him that he was. The man sighed. He was glad his wife had been loyal - but still . . He passed away then. His wife then sighed, "Thank goodness he didn't ask about the other three."

Then there's that story from "Children of the Morning Light" by Manitonquat: World began without death, but kept filling up. Creatures complain to Creator. Creator says two choices: no more birthing, or a doorway out called "Death." The male creatures all have a big meeting and vote for no more birthing. MEanwhile, the women creatures are having their own meeting; watching the babies all tumble about in the center of their circle, and oohing and aahing over their cuteness. They decide to keep on with birthing; because the new ones are messengers from Creator; and the people need reminders of where they came from and why they're here. They decide to open that gateway called "death."

My favorite part is the ending: Since the women were in charge of birthing and raising those little ones, the women had the last word and that's the way it's been ever since.
Marilyn K.
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28) Found this on
http://www.saltshakers.com/jokes.htm
The dutiful Jewish son is sitting at his father's bedside. His father is near death. Father: "Son." Son: "Yes Dad." Father: (weakly) "Son. That smell. Is Mama making my favorite apple strudel?" Son: "Yes Dad." Father: (even weaker) "Ah, if I could just have one more piece of Mama's apple strudel. Would you get me a piece?" Son: "OK, Dad." (Son leaves and walks toward kitchen. After a while the son returns and sits down next to his father again.) Father: "Is that you son?" Son: "Yes Dad." Father: "Did you bring the apple strudel?" Son: "No Dad." Father: "Why? It's my dying wish!" Son: "Well Dad. Mom says the strudel is for after the funeral!"

I remember this being posted here as a longer story, and set in an earlier time. I don't remember who posted it, but I remember it as a Jewish story.
Granny Sue
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29) Well, in a death and dying workshop I assisted with, a woman told the story of her mother's last illness. Apparently at some point in her illness, she was told that she could no longer drive. She agreed to that, but begged that they wouldn't take her license away - it was important to her to carry it, even if she couldn't use it. Anyway, they let her keep the license, and when she finally died, one of her daughters (surreptiously, she thought) sneaked the driver's license into the coffin. She looked up and found her dad had caught her in the act. He leaned over and whispered, "You better give her the VISA too - she's gonna need that if she's gonna be driving."
Kimberley K.
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30) I do a much expanded version of that story developed from a post I received form the Double Deckers. I call it "Pecan, Peanut Butter, Chocolate Chip Cookies." Hopefully I will be telling it at the "What's Cooking" Comedy
Cabaret at Northlands. I tell it to Senior gatherings and they almost fall out of their seats laughing.
Lucia G.D.
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31) I was thinking about humorous stories concerning death. Not to be insensitive, but humor is such a savior in human tragedies, and the dying often comfort the living with humor-- I've also heard some of the funniest lines at funeral wakes. I think humor in the dying person represents how well they lived. I came across this little gem on the internet, seems like it might be an old tale updated. (the link wasn't working so all I know is the authors name). Anyone have any other short humorous stories about death?

"Old man lies dying, calls over his young son. Says Son, come closer. Son comes. Son, says the dying, my one last wish is a piece of the crumb cake in the covered cake dish downstairs. Down goes the boy, running and nodding. Five minutes later, he's back and chagrined. Father says What happened? Son shrugs, Ma says it's for after."
Gregory L.
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32) The name of the Duncan Williams book is A Thorn in the King's Foot: Folktales of the Scottish Travelling People (Penguin Folklore Library).
Rose the story lady
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33) Death in a Nut
This story will always be special for me. Earlier this year, Peter Clarke, a friend and fellow storyteller here in a Sheffield (England), died. Later his friends and colleagues gathered to celebrate the different strands of his life. The storytelling strand was represented by 'Death in a nut' which was one of his favourites - and it fell to me to tell it. I have never been so nervous about telling a story in my life ! But people did say afterwards that it helped them. I have heard various versions but mine is influenced by one I heard from Taffy Thomas.
Bones:
While his mother lies dying, Jack meets Death heading for their cottage. He grabs Death's scythe and uses it to beat him over the head until he is small enough to be stuffed into a walnut shell. Jack throws the shell out to sea. He finds his mother well. While she lights the stove he heads off to town to buy some bacon for a celebration breakfast. But the butcher is unable to slaughter any animals . He fears his business is ruined. Jack has to go home without the bacon. On the way he tries to pull a cauliflower from a field to be some sort of breakfast. But none of the crop can be taken out of the soil. He finds his mother ankle deep in matches: she hasn't been able to light the stove. Jack tells his mother about his meeting with Death. She tells him that everyone has a time to be born and a time to die, that he has deprived her of that moment. That without death in the world nothing can change, nothing can be born. She says she has taught him all her stories and wise things, and it's time for him to make his own way. Jack retrieves the shell and releases Death. He returns to find his mother dead. He fetches their friends and neighbours and they have a meal at which they tell stories of all the happy and some of the sadder times they had with Jack's mother. Then they bury her in the earth. Jack takes the little money they had saved and walks out into the world, to other adventures and other stories.
Hugh
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34) There are many versions of the "death held captive" story, and my favorite is one told by Duncan Williamson in one of his books - the three I own are out on loan - but I think the name of the book is something like "The King with a Thorn in His Foot". The story is probably called "Death in a Nutshell." When death is non-operative not only does no one die, but there is also no food - eggs won't crack, the butcher can't kill animals of course, but gardeners can't pull vegetables out of the ground either. You're talking about stories for a retirement party, as I recall, so the mention of death is not tabu. I don't even know how touchy people in homes for the elderly would be - I shouldn't think they'd be bothered. I have told a story about King Solomon (given an opportunity to drink from the water of eternal life but, on the advice of the fox, rejecting it: "Better to die now, while everyone will be crying and asking "Oh, why did he die?" than to live on until they all cry, "Oh, why didn't he die?") to a group of very elderly, very infirm members of my kibbutz; no negative reaction
Lois T.
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35) My apologies for not citing a source. I usually do, but sometimes if I reply when I don't have much time, I don't bother to track them down. Ooka and the Death Decree comes from Case of the Marble Monster and Other Stories by I.G. Edmonds Scholastic, 1961. It was originally published as Ooka the Wise and may well have been reissued since. The story concerns the Shogun's decision to follow the law to the letter. When a young serving maid drops a vase belonging to his ancestor, she comes afoul of an order promulgated some years before that anyone who destroyed anything belonging to his grandfather, the great Iyeasu, would be put to death. The Shogun does not want to put the girl to death, but he also does not want to be seen not to be following his own law. As his advisor, Ooka solves the problem by saying the girl must be put to death, as well as himself for allowing the Shogun to make a foolish pronouncement, but only after the girl finishes paying for the extremely valuable vase worth 100 mon. He orders that the girl pay for it at the rate of one mon a year.
"One mon a year! Have you lost your reason? " cried the shogun. "It will take her a hundred years to pay! She cannot possibly live so long."
The old judge smiled. "With your permission, my lord, I will order her to try."
Slowly the shogun's look of astonishment changed to a smile. "And I order you to try to live as long yourself," he said.
Yvonne Y.
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36) Too good not to share - and one from our friend Marilyn --
Are you chicken? I double-dog dare ya. Marilyn
http://media.euniverse.com/funpages/cms_content/2461/flyin_egg_fight.swf

37) A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error,sent the email. Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack.The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends.After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: October 16, 2004
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P. S. Sure is freaking hot down here!
Dave 3/2/05
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(This web page updated 11/13/03; 8/6/06)