CATS - STORIES
(excerpts from posts)
(If you want to retell any of the stories listed below, be sure to obtain permission from the copyright holder if the material is not in the public domain)

1) A lady from Oklahoma has a slight accent. She has cats and when she lived in the south she would take them to the groomers and have what is called a Line Cut. To her a line cut is when all of the fur hanging down below the cat's tummy is taken off (because it gets matted or snarled). When she moved to Chicago, one of the cat's fur got all tangled up during the move so she took it in for a line cut. She was quite surprised when she heard the price as it was twice as much as it was down south. She confirmed with the groomer that he understood what a line cut was and he said "Yes, I know what a LION cut is." It seems her accent came out sounding like LION not LINE and this is how her cat was returned to her. She cried for a week...but not as much as the cat. It was November in Chicago and the cat needed all the fur it had.

2) There are many versions of the "6 Cats" tale. The one I remember hearing first was in a picture book called Six Foolish Fisherman.

3) Long list of books about cats
http://sachem.suffolk.lib.ny.us/advisor/purrfect.htm

4) Cats I Have Met While Traveling by Vera Titov
Vera Titov writes about cats that have touched her life.
Vera Titov from Russia discovers the next best thing to having your own cat is photographing the ones you meet and then writing their stories.
http://www.topics-mag.com/edition10/cat-stories.html

5) Glenda Moore's Cat Stuff Library - includes many cat stories and voluminous information about cats
http://www.xmission.com/~emailbox/humor.htm

6) COMPLETELY REVISED!! HDW Enterprises and Foothill Felines are proud to offer this brand new on-line Book Store created uniquely and especially for all cat-lovers. When you find something that you like, for yourself or as a gift, just click on the selection and you will be transferred to the secure, courteous, prompt on-line ordering system of "Amazon.com".
http://www.hdw-inc.com/felinebookstore1a.htm

7) Flippy & Mia's Stories
My Cats are Wimps
http://www.flippyscatpage.com/mycatsarewimps.html

8) The Cats Always Know
by "Anonymous"
Published: 3/21/98
Story: My boyfriend and I had just moved into an apartment that we found out was the former apartment of the newly deceased elderly land lady. Her daughter was in the process of trying to sell the building when we moved in. We had 2 new kittens that were soon acting strangely - meowing alarmedly at the walls and following something invisible to myself and my hubby. We did not think much of it as we don't believe in something unless there is proof.

A few weeks later I was doing some wood crafts and for a couple of days I was working with some pretty strong chemicals. One night, soon after, I was asleep beside my boyfriend. I awoke to the feeling that something was brushing around my head. I looked around, and felt that something was hovering over the bed. One of my kittens, for the first and only time, came up to me and placed herself near my neck and chest as if to protect me (?) or comfort me. I soon saw this blue apparition - it looked like a blue jack-o-lantern. It kept coming towards my head and I could hear a sizzle, like energy was around my head (I was closing my eyes, too frightened to look). I was too terrified to even scream. I tried to poke at my boyfriend to awaken him but was too weak to wake him - I was frozen with fear. At last the apparition said to me in this scratchy, mocking voice "Are you scared of me?" Then it disappeared and I in time stopped shaking and fell asleep. The next day when I told my boyfriend about it he said, "It was probably a hallucination - you've had too many paint fumes..." But I guess I'll never know. The cats continued to meow at invisible objects around the walls until we moved a year later, but I never felt a "presence" again. But now I have an open mind when it comes to the paranormal.
•••••
Source: http://ravenscroft.jstudios.com/stories/story3.htm

9) This page contains a very wide selection of stories to do with Cats. Some are funny: some are sad: some are true: some are made up. There are a few links to stories on other sites. This complements my Catpage, which contains much general information about cats.
http://www.blakjak.demon.co.uk/sty_menu.htm#whats_on

10) Cat "puke" stories
http://www.katpuke.com/stories.html

11) Stories about cats
Example:
Paranormal Story Archives
June 2001 – Page 22
Mysterious Cat Creature
by Holmes0426
Story: When I was had a summer house in Hessel, Michigan, I saw a very weird animal cross the road and disappear into the woods. I was driving in the car with my mom and my cousin when suddenly, out of nowhere it seemed, a giant cat-like animal trotted across the road. My mom stopped the car, and we sat there in amazement for awhile. When we finally did make it to our house, which was about 1 mile away form the encounter, I told my brother and he assumed that it was probably a mountain lion or something. I wasn't very skeptical about it at first, but know when I think about it harder I think that maybe I did see some kind of weird creature. The animal that I saw looked like a mountain lion, but it was probably 7 or 8 feet longer then a mountain lion, and it was a lot fatter. But the only real evidence that I can come up with that it is a weird animal is that where I lived, it was pretty much just flat land covered up by forest. Not the kind of place you would expect a mountain lion to live. What do you think?
http://paranormal.about.com/library/blstory_june01_22.htm

12) Many short, short stories about cats
http://www.petpride.org/4catsake.htm

13) List of humorous cat books to buy
http://myhome.ispdr.net.au/~pshaw/humour.html

14) Wonderful treasure-trove site containing many full-text cat stories from around the world and throughout history.
http://members.aol.com/moggycat/chinese.htm
Excerpt:
AN ANCIENT CHINESE MYTH
When the world was a new-created place, the gods decided to appoint one creature to see that it ran smoothly and to oversee all other creatures. The creature they selected was the cat. Thoughtful and contemplative, cats were given the power of speech in order to talk with the creator gods and give instructions to the other creatures who shared the world. For a long time all seemed to go well.

Cats, however, were sybaritic creatures. Rather than attend to the mundane, day-to-day running of a world, they wanted to doze in sunbeams on beds of fragrant catnip and matatabi vine. The creator gods saw this and asked the cats whether they were doing anything to ensure the smooth running of this newly made world.

"Running a world is not of great interest to us," said the cats, "we are content to roll on the grass and chase butterflies when the mood takes us. Mostly we let the world run itself so that we can enjoy the simple pleasures of warm sunshine and fresh, scented air."

The gods asked the cats to be more diligent in the running of the newly made world and the cats promised to pay a little more attention to their allotted task. Some while later, the gods paid another visit to their vibrant new world and they found the cats sleeping under cherry trees or playing with falling cherry blossoms. Once more they questioned the cats' dedication to overseeing the world.

"Running a world is, to be honest, a rather boring task. It is much more fun to sleep comfortably under cherry trees and frolic among the falling blossom," said the cats, "however, we will try to pay more attention to the business of being in charge of the world - it is a great responsibility."

The gods chastised the cats a second time and went away full of hope that the cats would pay closer attention to the running of the world the gods had given them. However, on a third visit, the gods found the cats chasing floating thistledown in the late summer sunshine.

"To be perfectly honest," the cats said, "we've realised that we really don't want the bother of running a world. We've noticed that one of your creatures shows much more promise in this respect, perhaps you could give the task of running a world to them so that we can spend our time enjoying the pleasures this world has to offer."

The gods reluctantly agreed, but on one condition. Those appointed to run the world required the power of speech. Therefore cats would no longer be able to talk and the other creature, called humans, would be endowed with speech. And while man busied himself about running the world and remaking it to his own liking and filling it with chatter, cats basked in scented sunshine with inscrutable expressions.

From that day on, mankind gained the power of speech while cats enjoyed the delights the world had to offer - sunshine, scents, textures and things to chase or play with. But the gods never forgot that the cat was their first chosen one to run the world and made them timekeepers so that humans could always tell the time of day by looking into a cat's eyes. In the morning their eyes are pools of blackness rimmed with gold; at noon they are mere black slits on disks of gold while in the evening they open out into pools of blackness once more.

Not only that, the purring of the cat is the sound of the machinery moving the world around the heavens and should the cats cease to purr, the world would stand still in the sky and the seasons, and all of time, would come to an end. So while mankind has the day-to-day running of the world, the cat still remains its timekeeper and guardian which is why cats always look so inscrutable and so smug.

IN THE BEGINNING THERE WAS THE PURR ...
Author unknown
Story: On the seventh day, the Creator-spirit took his rest, turning his mind to other projects such as the creation of a race of grey people with huge dark eyes in a distant star system. He had, however, created a group of caretaker-managers, the Angels, to oversee the Earth while he was otherwise engaged, and during an annual audit one of these Angels - Bast - looked down at the Earth and felt that something was missing.

The dolphins were frolicking happily in the ocean and the various finned, feathered and furred life-forms were busy begetting offspring. The insects and humbler creations were buzzing and chirping and squelching in their ecological niches. Plants were growing and seeding and the humans were busy inventing fire and the wheel. However, there seemed to be something indefinably amiss in paradise.

Then Bast noticed. The mice and rats, of course, blessed with outstanding reproductive capacities, they were outstripping the predators' abilities to maintain balance in paradise.

'Brother Mongoose,' called Bast, 'I see that the rats and mice are going forth and multiplying and you and your begotten ones are having a hard time keeping up with them.'

Brother Mongoose paused in his toils, dropping a dead mouse, 'Tis true,' he admitted, 'the wife is busy nursing our latest brood and it seems that Lucifer has touched the rats and mice so that they multiply quicker than we can count. They gnaw away at the humans' grain stores and carry with them disease and famine.'

'I will see if I can arrange some help for you,' replied Bast.

The Angel Bast put a draft proposal on the Creator-spirit's desk, outlining plans for a new predator to help in the control of the rats and mice and of the rabbits who were beginning to display unnerving fecundity and were rapidly decimating the greenery. Two weeks later, her proposal was still in the Creator-spirit's 'Pending' tray, along with Black Death, and Bast decided to take it upon herself to address the situation before it deteriorated further.

'Firstly,' she mused, 'The new predator must be equipped for its role: it must have sharp ears and eyes and a keen sense of smell for locating rats and mice and rabbits, it needs sharp teeth and claws for catching and despatching them efficiently.

But,' she thought after a moment's consideration, 'it is to be a friend to the sons and daughters of Adam and Eve so it must be pleasing to the eye. Fur, I think and a plumy tail. Tickly whiskers and a pleasing voice to win over mankind, since in return for protecting their granaries and gardens, it needs a place in their hearts and homes. It will be neither too small since it must control rabbits nor too large since it must fit onto mankind's laps. And since mankind needs some lightness and joy in life, its young will have paws too big for their short legs, round bellies with bury-your-nose-in-it fur, little flagpole tails, eyes the colour of cornflowers and voices that chirp endearingly.'

Bast set about creating the perfect creature to fulfil these criteria. Soon her efforts were rewarded and cats graced the Garden, chasing butterflies and crickets, gambolling in the grass and keeping the rats and mice and rabbits under control to ensure the continuing harmony of the new world. The sons and daughters of Adam and Eve took cats to their hearts and hearths, soothed by the purring, amused by their antics, delighting in caressing the miniature tiger in their midst and worshipping its enchanting habits and the fumble-footed exploits of tumbling kittens.

Some while later, the Creator-spirit returned having created other worlds in the cosmos. He saw the cats and noted that they were not on his original inventory or blueprint.

'Bast! What have you done? Who gave you leave to create a new creature?'

Contritely, Bast indicated the over-breeding creatures which Lucifer had touched and had caused to carry diseases injurious to the sons and daughters of Adam and Eve. She explained that mankind was in danger of being eaten out of Garden and home and extolled the various virtues of cat-kind - its cleanliness, its hunting prowess, its pleasing appearance and its soothing voice.

Now the Creator-spirit would not uncreate a creature, but he saw that mankind had raised cat above all others, even to the point of worshipping it.

'Bast, I will indulge you, for you have created a creature which is both pleasing and useful. Henceforth cat-kind will be pleasing in aspect and voice and be useful in hunting ... but ... it will have an annoying habit of kneading mankind with its sharp claws and it will have another voice - the hiss of a snake. Cats will attract superstition so that mankind will not be OVERLY fond of them and they will have a supercilious expression and be aloof and disdainful, though they may sometimes deign to keep company with the sons and daughters of Adam and Eve.'

Thus the Creator-spirit ensured that cats were no more and no less than his own creations, although to this day there are many who hold the cat above all others, for exactly the qualities Bast endowed it with.
http://members.aol.com/moggycat/chinese.htm

15) David Stevenson's Story Page. Funny stories about cats:
http://www.blakjak.demon.co.uk/sty_men4.htm
Example:
Stupid Cat Tricks
by Carl Lewis, N Charleston, SC, USA
Story: My ex-wife and I had been giving the two cats (a female named "Checkers" and a male named "Smokey") kitty treats for being good and not killing each other during their little "battles" for a few months, when one night we forgot to close the cupboard all the way. We got up the next day to find the cupboard door wide open and the treat box on the kitchen floor with tooth marks all over it (but the contents still intact). We thought we knew who the instigator of the caper was, but wasn't sure until later that week.

I decided to sleep on the couch with a newly opened box of treats on the coffee table. About two hours after I laid down, I heard a commotion (they first thought a half bag of potato chips was the prize they sought). When I opened my eyes, I saw my precious, sweet, lovable little Checkers (RB) with her paws on top of the coffee table, with Smokey looking out for my ex-wife to come down the stairs (neither of them looked to see if I was awake). After my precious and sweet baby looked at Smokey (presumably to make sure the coast was clear) she whipped her head around, grabbed the treat box and yanked it down from the table. In the meantime, Smokey came over from the stairs to join her. He proceeded to grab onto the bottom of the box with his teeth while my little sweetie pulled and pulled on the inner pouch until it came flying out of the box (the glue on the bottom of the pouch gave way). She went stumbling back a bit, and Smokey quickly lost the box and they both began to chew the pouch until they got to the treats inside.

Shortly after they began their feast, I couldn't hold it any longer and began to laugh, and of course, they realized they had been caught red-pawed......and began to look around the room as if to say "Now who did this?"
http://www.blakjak.demon.co.uk/stx_lew0.htm

16) Pura Magazine Issue 04
Porridge goes to work!
Written by Dr. Laxmi Iyer
Excerpt:
His name was Porridge. Why did his owners call him Porridge? It was still not clear to Porridge although it was obvious to everybody. The Schwartz family with whom Porridge lived were very fond of their pet. Both Joel and Eleanor Schwartz, the older girls Jane and June and the younger twins - Rocky and Robin loved having him around.

Of course he had Porridge shades on his ears, his paws, and even a porridge shaped blob right across his chest. But still that was no reason to call him Porridge. The twins sometimes sang a song teasing him, Porridge! Porridge! Slurp! Slurp!

He couldn't help it. He loved porridge and he loved slurping it loudly and licking it clean off his plate and the plates of all the other stray cats who dropped in at breakfast time. He felt silly but his weakness for porridge was just too much.

Sometimes, he even licked the drops of porridge stuck to the fur and whiskers of the other cats. When he did that, everyone in the family would come to watch him. Then, they would walk upto Porridge and cuddle him. Porridge loved that. He loved being the centre of attention.

However, unfortunately for Porridge in the past year, a lot of interesting developments had been taking place in the Schwartz household.

Of late Eleanor Schwartz had taken up a job and the twins - Robin and Rocky had started going to playschool. He was the only one at home- all alone by himself. For a few weeks, he tried sleeping it out but it was now beginning to get boring.

Both Jane and June, the older kids were now in higher classes and they had stopped giving him the kind attention that they used to. Now, all he heard them talking was about practicing for games and studying for exams. They barely patted him and sometimes forgot to even say hello to him when they returned from school. They were all beginning to act as if he didn't exist and if he did - as if he was just another ordinary cat.

It was high time to grab the family's attention but how?....
•••••
For the rest of the story, go to:
http://www.petspourri.com:8080/latestissue04_08.htm

17) Stories for Cats by Mewsette
Long, long ago, in a time and place where cats were cared for and revered, there lived mother and daughter cats in a fine home on a hill overlooking the sea. The home was open and airy, and the two cats came and went at will. They spent hot days resting on the cool marble floors or napping on silken cushions. They spent warm evenings in the courtyard, a dense, sweet smelling flower garden surrounded by a high stone wall. On the corner of the wall stood a golden statue of Bast.

The mother was called Nola and the daughter, Noori. They had lived there many years and loved each other deeply. One cloudy day, the mother, Nola, breathed her last breath, and the sorrowing caretakers of the garden buried her beneath a bush of white flowers. They marked her grave with a large pearl stone from the sea. There the daughter, Noori, lay day after day, grieving for her mother.

One dark night, Noori left the grave and walked along the stone wall to sit before the statue of Bast.

"O Bast," she said, "I have a good life here, with delectable fishes to eat and a bowl of yellow cream every evening. I fear the unknown, but I miss my mother. What is it like where she is? Does she have fishes and cream?" There was no answer, and Noori fell asleep.

The next night she again approached the statue and stood before it.

"O Bast," she said, "I have a beautiful home here, with silken cushions to lie on and sweet smelling flowers around me in evening. I fear the unknown. Does my mother have a silken cushion and sweet flowers where she is?" Again there was no answer, and a tear fell from the eye of Noori before she slept.

On the third night, Noori went to the statue and said, "O Bast, I love the sound of the sea and the warmth of the sunshine. I have loved life until now, and I fear the unknown. Can my mother hear the sea and feel the sunshine? Does she remember me?" Noori waited all night, but no answer came.

On the last night, Noori had been watching the statue for hours and considering what she might ask. She felt more and more afraid.

"O Bast," she finally spoke. "I have been too spoiled by a soft life to be brave, but I must be now. I fear the unknown, but I ask you only one thing. Take me to my mother."

The next day, the same sorrowing caretakers took the body of Noori and placed it gently in a grave next to the first one. They brought another pearl stone from the sea to mark where she lay. But Noori was not there. She was with her mother in a more perfect place, because she had conquered her fear.
•••••
Source: http://domania.us/catique/stories4cats.html
•••••

18) There is a wonderful children's book, The Cat Who Wore a Pot On Her Head , whose name is Bendemolina, who, because of the pot on her head which covers her ears, cannot understand the directions she's given. She ends up doing crazy things THINKING she is following orders and is a stitch and a half. It's available through Half.com and e-Bay and alibris and other vendors. Cheap and terrific. You'll need to check about permission to tell but surely anyone who writes a delightful book such as this will love having it shared.
Pat N. 2/12/06
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19) Miscellaneous books about cats:
a) Jenny and the Cat Club: A Collection of Favorite Stories About Jenny Linsky (New York Review Children's Collection)
b) Chicken Soup for the Cat and Dog Lover's Soul - Celebrating Pets as Family with Stories About Cats, Dogs and Other Critters
c) Mog Time: 6 Stories About Mog
d) Stories About Cats and the Lives They Touch
e) Great Cat Stories: Inspirational Tales about Exceptional Cats (An Amazing Stories Book) (Amazing Stories)
f) If Only They Could Speak: Stories About Pets and Their People
g) A cat had a fish about a dream: A picture story
h) MORE ABOUT THE FICKLE MRS. WHISKERS AND OTHER CAT TALES
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(This web page updated 12/31/04; 2/13/06)