1) The World of the Irish Wonder Tale
by Elliott B. Gose, Jr., who says in his Prologue: "I find the term 'fairy tales' inadequate not only because it suggests they are about fairies but also because it implies they are only for children. A better term is 'folk tales,' but it covers other types of oral tales as well. In this study, therefore, I shall refer to the kind of tale I am dealing with by another accepted term, the 'wonder tale,' with its appropriate suggestion of wonderful or magic adventures."
2) Lady Gregory's wonderful little book: A Book of Saints and Wonders ,
Colin Smythe publisher. Most Irish storytelling is designed to create wonder. Today people want a beginning, middle and end. For the Irish all you need for an ending is wonder. This so that once up on that heavenly plain above it all, one can continue the story into conversation. Story is a launch pad rather than an end in itself.
3) Who was Molly Malone?
a) She was a fishmonger's daughter, as it says in the song. A poet fell in love with her, and she died of a fever. She is buried at Wood Quay on the south side of the River Liffey in Dublin city centre. Unfortunately, in 1979 the city fathers in their wisdom built the new city offices on top of her grave. Wood Quay also happened to be the most important Viking archaelogical site in Europe, and hundreds of thousands of Dubliners protested to no avail. But that's a whole nother story.
b) She was a prostitute. A poet ... etc. The fever was VD.
c) She never existed but was invented in the 19th century by tour guides for the tourists.
Note: when the half-naked Molly Malone statue appeared in city centre about 15 years ago, I wondered why the feminists didn't object. If her cleavage was any deeper she'd be barefoot. Then I learned the sculptor was a woman.
4) There's an interesting discussion about "Fields of Athenry" on the Mudcat website here. One of the members has done extensive research on the song (in Ireland), and has found absolutely no evidence to indicate that it was ever written or published at any time prior to 1979. Furthermore, the evidence indicates that the specific events described in the song are entirely fictional.....(although the historical context is not). Pete St. John has a website, and I suppose you could write him directly and ask him - but in snippets of interviews with him, he seems to indicate that the song was original with him. It seems that he wrote a song which resonated with so many, and fit so seamlessly into the tradition of Irish folksong, that it entered the folk lexicon, complete with attached mythology, within a vey short time. Parallels can be found in the world of storytelling, I'm sure. Check out the mudcat site - the discussion is fascinating - these folks are as dedicated to songtalk as we are to storytalk. (And the discussion of the historical research comes fairly early in the discussion, in case you get bored)
5) On the Five Minute Irish Stories pages I found a funny story I enjoyed learning, and telling for the first time to a colleague of mine tonight. The story is about a poor man with two pigs who gets tricked into selling them both for the price of one. Then Daniel OConnell helps him get his money by tricking the pig buyer. I get the impression that Daniel is a standard character from the prestige he seems to have in this tale. Is there some history here someone can share with me? I'd like to include this in a couple of Celtic tellings I'm doing in March, but I'd like to be better informed about Mr. OConnell and why he seems to be so important.
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=2053
6) Daniel O'Connell (1775-1847), from Cahirciveen in County Kerry (where no mother ever raised a fool), was a Nationalist and social reformer, elected MP in 1828, known as The Liberator for his forcing the British government to accept Catholic Emancipation. His picture was on the old £20 note, and the main drag in Dublin, complete with statue (bigger than Big Jim Larkin's: sorry, Chuck), is named for him. He attracted a million people to a Monster Rally at the Hill of Tara in 1843. He stopped for a refreshing pint at the nearby pub, which is now inhabited and run as a souvenir and tea shop by the same family that owned it then.
Lots of migratory clever-hero legends have become attached to O'Connell, as they have to Jonathan Swift, noted "English" author and Dean of St Patrick's (Protestant) Cathedral in Dublin. A supporter of the Catholic poor, and much loved and respected by them, Swift famously said, "Burn everything English except their coal."
O'Connell once got a bill passed in Parliament that he knew didn't have a chance. He rolled up a copy of the bill in his hollow cane and passed the cane around to MPs and asked if they approved of his new cane. A majority said they did. O'Connell took out the bill and showed them what they had passed, much to their dismay.
7) I know at a Storytell story swap at an NSN conference a few years ago, I heard Lenore Jackson tell a folktale to go with W. B. Yeats' poem, The Song of the Wandering Aengus. I think the story was called The White Trout. She told me that it was in one of the Yeats' anthologies of Irish fairy tales, but not in the other, shorter one. Does anyone know which Yeat's book continues this story? I have requested Irish Fairy and Folk Tales (Modern Library Classics)
on interlibrary loan, but don't know if it will get to me on time, since it is coming from off island (not available on Oahu, although a shorter version is). On Amazon.com, I am offered a choice between that book and Fairy and Folk Tales of the Irish Peasantry
both fairly substantial. If I order it, I would like to get the right one. I swear, I remember looking at it in a bookstore not long after hearing Lenore tell the story, discovering it was the right one and, I thought, buying it - but can I find it in my bookshelves? Noooo.
The story as I remember it from Lenore's telling is of a cruel, bloodthirsty man who loved hunting and fishing. He caught a white trout that turned into a woman. He hurt her cruelly (I think) but seeing her transformed his life (vague on the details here). It seemed a much sadder story than the poem, which I have loved since childhood.
• Response: Well, it was about midnight when I told it, but the man wasn't cruel and bloodthirsty. He was just a soldier who had no respect for local customs (when the soldiers heard about the enchanted trout, they laughed). Tell the story and the poem or either alone. The story would be great with other fish stories. Keep us informed of your research.
I did a search on The Mudcat Café website
http://www.mudcat.org/
since I am also trying to find a recorded (sung) version of the poem. I think I am going to order a Jean Redpath cd that has it. Among the discussion on Mudcat (a wonderful source, by the way) someone said, "the story of the song is the love sickness of the Celtic God of Love, Aengus Mac Og, for the fairy Caer Ibermoth(sp?) and Aengus wish to spend eternity in Avalon with her. Avalon the Island of the Dead, sort of an Elysium, where grew the silver and gold apples, from the Celtic word for apple. (Avalon in Welsh is - avallach)." Another person mentioned that the poem "is based upon a myth fragment known as "Aisling Oengus". I've also seen references to "Aengus Og, one of the Tuatha de Danaan" which I assume is probably the same as Aengus mac Og. Does anyone know more about _these_ elements of the story, and where I could find sources discussing them?
Response: You can find it here:
http://www.stmoroky.com/reviews/books/fairy.htm
Response: All these characters are one, and there are lots of other slight variants. It's usually 'Angus' - Aengus was the spelling that Yeats preferred/created. You can find plenty of summary detail in A Dictionary of Celtic Mythology (Oxford Paperback Reference)
by James MacKillop, OUP. The dictionary entries are condensed, but refer to the stories, life events, and parallels with other myths or characters etc. It also mentions that the figure was popular with writers - he seems to have been incorporated into literary stories. This book is an excellent reference, worth having if you have an interest in Celtic myths.
8) I heard Patrick Ball tell this story--it's about a man who trades his beloved wife for a herd of white cows with red ears and then, when he's regretting the trade, uses trickery to get the wife back and keep the cows. The wife's name sounds like Duvlacca of the White Hand. Can't find any info on it, let alone the hoped for online version.
Response: The story is Mongan's Frenzy. I found it through a research engine. Chapter V. It is very long .
http://www.rickwalton.com/folktale/irish10.htm
Response: That's close enough phonetically; I found the story by guessing the original Irish name, which is Dubh Lacha. The husband is Mongan, who was king of the Dal nAraidhe (Dalriada) in Ulster. son of Fiachna mac Baodain. I haven't looked for an online version, but the names may help; my source is Myth, Legend, and Romance: An Encyclopaedia of Irish Folk Tradition
by Dr. Daithi O hOgain. It's not a story I knew, but has some interesting parallels with the Mabinogion. Mongan was historical (killed c624 AD), but there were many stories associated with him, including that his father was Manannan, god of the sea.
Response: Easy to read versions of Mongan story found in The Celtic Tradition ("Elements of ... " Series)
by Caitlin Matthews and short version in Merlin's Kin: World Tales of the Heroic Magician (World Storytelling from August House)
by Josepha Sherman. Note: Mongan's wife's name, Dubh Lacca/Dubh Lacha (sounds like Duvlacca), means "black duck" which plays in the trickery. King Brandubh notices that Mongon admiring his red-eared cows & offhandedly offers to trade them for something like a goose, or a duck, or, oh yeah, a black duck. Mongan agrees before he realizes that he has just traded away his beautiful wife (Black Duck/Dubh Lacha) but is honor bound to keep agreement he has made. It's that agreement which he is honor bound to keep; not that the Irish are honor bound to give away wives to any who ask.
9) Query: We are already planning our Spring programs here, and we have decided to do an Irish folktale program in March. I need a few basic Irish tales that would be suitable for school-age children, plus possibly a few preschool siblings. Thanks in advance!
Response: One of my favorite Irish tales is about the Irish man who is such a bragger and a liar. He loves to go to the annual liars contest every year and usually wins. One day when he's bragging about how good he is, he says that he's better than the fairy king himself. This angers the fairy king, who brings the man to his kingdom to teach him a lesson. I can't remember everything that happens, but essentially the King puts a spell on the man so that he always has to tell the truth. The man is devastated, but goes to the contest anyway and tries to explain to the crowd, why he can't compete anymore and tells of his encounter with the fairy king. Well, of course, the audience thinks he's made up his biggest lie yet and he wins the contest!. Sorry, I don't have a title or references. I've seen it in a picture book and I've heard it on a story tape.
Response: I would suggest The Man Without a Story. You will find it in Jane Yolen's Favorite Folktales from Around the World (Pantheon Fairy Tale and Folklore Library) . I have told it many times in schools and everyone seems to enjoy it.
10) Query: I will have to find the title but perhaps someone else can provide it. It is the well known story of the lad who catches the leprechaun and forces him to show him where the pot of gold is hidden. The leprechaun takes him to a field full of flowers, poppies I think, or it could be any flower and points to the spot. The lad doesn't have a shovel. He takes his kerchief off, ties it around the flower which the pot is under and makes the leprechaun promise he won't remove, which of course he does. The lad goes home, comes back with a shovel only to find that every flower now has a kerchief tied around it. The children love this story and always ask for it. I think it is called The Leprechaun and the Red Scarf.
Response: The title I know is The Field of Boliauns in Joseph Jacob's Favorite Celtic Fairy Tales (Dover Children's Thrift Classics) .
Response: I found a version at our own Dale Pepin's site. Have a look.
The Leprechaun's Gold - a story for St. Patrick's Day as retold by Dale Pepin
Story:
'TWAS a fine sunny day at harvest time when young Seamus O'Donnell, walking along the road, heard a tapping sound. Peering over the hedge, he saw a tiny man in a little leather apron, mending a little shoe.
"Well, well, well!" said Seamus to himself. "I truly never expected to meet a leprechaun. Now that I have, I must not let this chance slip away. For everyone knows that leprechauns keep a pot of gold hidden nearby. All I have to do is to find it, and I am set for the rest of my life."
Greeting the leprechaun politely, Seamus asked about his health. However, after a few minutes of idle conversation, Seamus became impatient. He grabbed the leprechaun and demanded to know where the gold was hidden.
"All right! All right!" cried the little man. "It is near here. I'll show you."
Together they set off across the fields as Seamus was careful never to take his eyes off the little man who was guiding him. At last they came to a field of golden ragwort.
The leprechaun pointed to a large plant.
"The gold is under here," he said. "All you have to do is to dig down and find it."
Now Seamus didn't have anything with him to use for digging, but he was not entirely stupid. He pulled of his red neckerchief and tied it to the plant so that he would recognize it again.
"Promise me," he said to the leprechaun, "that you will not untie that scarf."
The little man promised faithfully.
Seamus dropped the leprechaun and ran home as fast as he could to fetch a shovel. Within five minutes, he was back at the field. But what a sight met his eyes! Every single ragwort plant in the whole field -- and there were hundreds of them -- had a red neckerchief tied around it.
Slowly, young Seamus walked home with his shovel. He didn't have his gold. He didn't have the leprechaun.
And now, he didn't even have his neckerchief.
The story may be found at Story Socks, Dale Pepin's website.
11) Here is a copy of an outline I use on the St Patrick. Enjoy....Bob Shimer
St. Patrick; the Rest of the Story
1. St. Patrick 385-460AD, Born Dumbarton Scotland?, Know of him from his own confessions written in old age.
2. Named Maewyn, in his writing referred to himself as patrius (well-born in Latin) Patrick is English form. Father was Calpurius, a Roman official. Family's English name was Succat meaning clever in war.
3. Roman but Rome was weak, Britain prey for raiders from Hibernia (Ireland). Captured when 16 and taken to Ireland, sold to Miliuc. Shepherd on slopes of Slemish Mountains. Felt he was punished for breaking commandments and didn't listen to Priests.
4. Prayed during long lonely hours in fields for 6 years.
5. In dream God said "Your ship is ready for you." Left the fields for the sea coast 200 miles away.
6. Ship leaving, begged to be let aboard, refused and then accepted. Carried Irish Wolfhounds for western Europe. Headed inland for a month, food short, starving, Patrick prayed for food and a herd of wild pigs came out of the woods.
7. Decided Patrick did miracle, keep as slave, so Patrick escaped. Devoted rest of life to God.
8. Studied somewhere in Europe, probably Auxerre, France studying under St. Germanius. Became a Priest. Felt God called him to go to Ireland to convert pagans. Studied further to prepare for that.
9. In 431, Pope Celestine I sent Bishop Palladius to Ireland. Patrick also a Bishop was disappointed in it not being him.
10. Palladius driven out and died in 431AD. Some Christians but most Druids.
11. Pope Celestine I sent Patrick to near Dublin, driven out also, headed for home of Miliuc. Found home in flames, some thought Miluic committed suicide because of his former slave's return.
12. Headed for Tara, seat of Ireland's high kings. Holiday Beltane, no lights until King lit his, King saw Patrick's campfire. Out of fear for Patrick's magic did not enter but called Patrick out. Patrick told him, "Some put their faith in chariots and horses, others in God".
13. For 30-40 years Patrick preached and converted throughout Ireland, doing the chieftain first. Became famous and nicknamed "Old Shaved Head".
14. Did not stamp out old ways but combined them with Christian. Used the three leafed shamrock to represent the Trinity.
15. Wrote Confession in old age and signed as Patrius (meaning "well born" in Latin). In English it became Patrick. 16. When died all Ireland went into mourning. For 12 days the Church elders prayed over body.
17. Argument over where to bury. Settled by coffin in cart pulled by 2 oxen, stopped near River Quoile in Downpatrick, County Down in Northern Ireland.
Ireland in iron age. Celts called land Erin?. Ireland named by 9th
century Scandinavian invaders.
12) There's an alternative explanation, of course...first, there never were snakes in Ireland, nor any kind of creepy lizardy sort of beast. it has been said that one word for these critters in the Old Norse was "paud" and the Vikings who settled in Ireland wondered why there were no "pauds" in their new home while there had been in their old. Well, don't you know, the Irish told them, the good St "Paudric" drove them out! Always ones for the leg-pull, the Irish.. And it is true that the old Celtic ways lasted in Ireland long, long after Patrick's time--not truly ending until destroyed by English law in the 16th and 17th centuries in the final suppression of the bards and Brehon law (St Patrick is reported to have helped codify the law in the 5th century). There's a good article that covers some of the way the old ways blended with the new at http://members.aol.com/redselchie/articles/irish.html entitled "Irish Witches."
Slainte is tainte!
13) The Irish...
Be they kings, or poets, or farmers,
They're a people of great worth,
They keep company with the angels,
And bring a bit of heaven here to earth.
14) Irish legends in America
Query: I've received the following request. Apart from the odd leprechaun who emigrated to the States and continues his shoe- and mischief-making there, nothing occurs to me. Susan Reed learned the song she called "The Leprechaun" from people in one of the Carolinas and sang a lovely version of it, but "influence the daily life in America"? Any ideas?
Response: You are right--other than the very odd leprechaun, few of the Other Folk made the trip to the New World. An amalgam of Irish-Scots-English tales form a base for Appalachian tales (Jack sprung from that stock) and the frontier tales have a heavy dose of the same (Crockett, Bowie, Andrew Johnson and Boone all had Scots and/or Irish roots). There is a much greater direct influence in the music world. It is virtually impossible to listen to country fiddle-playing and be sure of the country--the tunes and styles are the same. And of course, much of what people think of as "Irish songs" were written in the US.
.....The Irish in America tend to tell tales of immigration and the struggle to survive alone and against the odds. "Making it" in America was the goal(and one we've reached fairly well, I might add). Irish tales were reminders of lost youth and a home they might never see again. Perhaps that is why they are not widely shared. This is changing somewhat--we had a burst of Irish as chic in the late '90's and there is more of a hunger for the stories now.
.....However, the love of words and stories remains--we noticed at one of our Central Ohio guild meetings that over half of our people were of Scots and/or Irish descent!
Cathy Jo
Response: Does this make any sense? The Catholic religion was passed down to my mother (her father was fully Irish and Catholic) and it was a huge burden for her. Sometimes when I view present day Irish films with religious overtones - it reminds me of the burdens my mother seems to carry.
Mary
Response: The leprechaun is indeed odd.
In regard to Catholicism-----
1. Earliest immigration was protestant and of the two groups the most hostile to "pagan" aspects.
2. The Catholic church has never been a supporter of folk anyting. Priests were dead set against wakes as well as dancing at the crossroads. The Catholic church in America worked to "civilize" the Irish immigrants-this meant discarding language, culture, conventions of dress so that the immigrants could better assimilate into and then take over the political machines of the big eastern cities. Of course this helped the Irish survive but stripped of their culture and with a fair ammount of loss of autonomy to the church.
3. Most often credited with the deterioration of the storytelling inventory and tradition is the general force of dislocation of families from cultural practices- the stress of the frontier and the elimination of much leisure time especially in the urban east. Storytelling requires a certain social network including the tellers. If the network did not get transferred neither did the story inventory.
4. The leprechaun does not exist because of cultural preservation and transfer. There are actually mighty few leprechaun stories in the best of intact Irish traditional inventories. The popular notion of the strange leprechaun is quite the american invention which came out of song hall, music hall, vaudeville- Pat and Mick shows. The leprechaun also came out of pidgeonization - the same "cute" irish traits which inspired 18th century gentlemen after dinner founded and enforced leprechaunization as a sterotype- see lucky charms adverts.....halmark leprechauns are little more than Irish Sambos (not that sambo is bad....but I wont go into that argument...now)
..... Remember also that in regard to music it ain't all irish that sounds Irish. German, Balkan and scandanavian and French fiddle traditions also blended into the music of the frontier for which scotts Irish are often given all of the credit. All of the european styles including Irish have much in common. Bear in mind that Irish musical traditions are largely derivitive from continental sources. There is pure irish gaelic word for any of the traditional musical forms.
Conrad
Response: Of fairy legends intact I can think of very few. The Headless Horseman is derived from a celtic faerie similar to the Bane Sidhe, but the name escapes me at the moment.
..... If you look a little broader, however, you will find faerie encounters in the last place many people think to look ... modern UFO mythology. Anyone who takes the time and care to compair UFO encounters with the faerie experiences of centuries past will notice a remarkable simularity. It is unfortunate that more books have not been written on the subject .. but faeries are no longer taken seriously, science has taken upon itself to disprove their existance with sweepingly dismissive explanations. As our civilizations progress, our imaginations take us in new directions. Gods become fae, become angels and demons and now Aliens.
.....If the student wanted to present this case as part of her material, then she might demonstrate the influence UFOlogy has on everyday life throughout the world.
..... Not sure that is useful, but it is something to consider.
.....On another subject, peganism in the US often incorporates faeries on some level. The last decade has seen a huge increase in pegan presence. Neo-Celtic beliefs have a strong influence on modern American peganism, which could in turn bespeak the imminent return of faerie lore.
W.
Response: That would be the dulahan, I believe--driver of the coiste bodhar, the death coach. What I've seen of the faerie world here in the US pulls heavily from the English tradition, as well as the Irish--gauzy wings and all. I've heard it said (and attributed to Eddie Lenihan) that the Other grow smaller when humans stop believing in them. And that why the English fairies are so small and the Irish ones keep getting smaller...
..... BTW, following up what I said earlier about American Irish tales being about immigration, one of the stories I brought back from my trip to Ireland last year was actually an American tale re-planted. It was the tragic tale of Dan O'Hara, who found only misery and death in his journey to America. But his memory remains in a song and his former home has been rebuilt as a tourist stop in Connemara.
Cathy Jo
Response: That tiny gauzy-winged image isn't English tradition and it certainly isn't Irish. It was a Victorian romantic invention, although the image seems to have stuck. Eddie Lenihan is one of the greatest experts in all things to do with fairies, though of course he would never call them that, and is at pains to point these facts out. In Ireland their name is the Sidhe (pronounced Shee) but no one calls them that out loud. They are referred to as the Good Folk because they are most certainly not good but people are too afraid to insult them. They aren't necessarily reported as small - some are larger than people, many are just a bit smaller; their appearance is often given as grey - and no wings! That's not dissimilar from English tradition though there is lots of variation even within each tradition. I'm not sure how the tiny gauzy-winged image first came about, but it was a romantic notion and probably cemented firmly when those two young sisters hoaxed the country with a 'photograph' of such fairies that wasn't proved false until they confessed in their old age. It's not unlike Christmas - many of the Christmas 'traditions' were established by Charles Dickens when he wrote A Christmas Carol in the Victorian age, and the romance was taken up. Of course some individual elements of Christmas have much older roots, but he created an image and brought non-Christmas things into it, like the goose and the plum pudding etc.
,,,,, By the way, we owe some of the vitality of the Irish storytelling tradition to the Sidhe, because there was a widespread fear of going out after dark - one might be taken by the Good Folk. So the long winter nights were spent firmly ensconced together in one place as much as possible. There's an interesting discussion of this in Celtic Heritage by Alwyn and Brynley Rees - an essential handbook both to old storytelling traditions and the tales of Celtic mythology.
Tim
Response: I apologize for calling English invention "English tradition"--you are correct.
Lenihan's book "Meeting the Other Crowd" is one of the best collections of true
tales of the daoine sidhe available.
..... Odd anecdote--before our trip to Ireland, we had been talking to a photographer who has worked with Eddie and describe him to us. The first evening we were in our rented cottage we turned on the television to check out channel 4, the Irish-language station. It was a shock to see this man with wild hair, a full beard (except for a small strip on his chin), glasses as thick as Coke bottle bottoms. We turned to each other and said, "That looks exactly like..." and the television said "Eddie Lenihan." It was a show about how he gathers the stories before they disappear entirely. We tried to buy "The Other Crowd" in Kenny's in Galway--but it was only available in the US at that time! Had to buy in when we came home (in Dublin, Ohio, of course).
Cathy Jo
15) The Mouse on the Barroom Floor
(An Irish Poem)
Some Guiness was spilt on the barroom floor
When the pub was shut for the night
Out of his hole crept a wee brown mouse
And stood in the pale moonlight
He lapped up the frothy brew from the floor
Then back on his haunches he sat
And all the night you could hear him roar
"Bring on the goddamn cat!"
16) Irish jokes
Irish Prayer
Murphy was staggering home with a pint of booze in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily. Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg.
"Please Lord," he implored, "let it be blood!!"
Irish Shopping
McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave.
"S' cuse me", said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done, "what was that all about?"
"Nothin', said the Irishman, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives!"
You've Been Out Drinking Again
An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar is closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside, he stood up and fell on his face again.
So he decided to crawl the four blocks home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into the bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "SO YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING AGAIN!" Putting on an innocent look, and intent on bluffing it out he said, "What makes you say that?" "The pub just called; you left your wheelchair there again."
I've Lost Me Luggage
An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick. "No," replied the Irishman. "I've lost all me luggage!"
"How'd that happen?"
"The cork fell out!" said the Irishman.
Water to Wine
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" "Just water," says the priest. The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?" The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
The Reunion
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why, of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks, "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," says the second. Curious, the first asks: "Where in Ireland?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it, Me too! Lets have another round of drinks to Dublin." "Of course" The second man can't help
himself so he asks, "What school did you attend?" "Saint Mary's", replies the first man. "I graduated in '62." "This is becoming unbelievable!!!" They say in union.
About that time, in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's up?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replied the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again!"
The Brothel
Two Irishmen were sitting a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street. They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin' bad." Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin' victim to temptation." Then they saw a Catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, "What a terrible pity... one of the girls must be quite ill."
Lost at Sea
Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into Guinness Beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished.
Only the gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going Patrick! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat."
More jokes:
1. Ireland's worst air disaster happened last night when a small two seater cenesta plane crashed into a cemetery near Dublin. So far rescue workers have recovered 1896 bodies and expect the number to rise as digging continues into the night.
2. How many Irish men does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just 1 cause he thinks if he holds it there the rest of the world will revolve round him!
3. An Englishman, a Scottish man and an Irishman are in a pub and see three pretty girls. The barman tells them that they are his daughters and that the men can only go out with them if they can guess the football team each girl supports. So the Englishman says he has an idea. He looks up the first girl's skirt and sees that she is wearing red underwear. He stands up and says "This one supports Manchester United because shes wearing red underwear." The barman says "correct," so the English man leaves with the girl. The Scottish man looks up the next girl's skirt. He sees that she is wearing blue underwear, so he stands up and says, "This one supports the Rangers because she's wearing blue underwear." The barman says "correct," so the Scottish man and the girl leave. The Irish man now understands what to do so he looks up the last girl's skirt and then stands up and says, "This one supports Arsenal."
4. An Englishman, a Scottish man and an Irishman are lost in the desert. They find a dead cow so they decide to eat it. The Englishman says, "Well, I support Liverpool, so I'll eat the liver. The Scottish man says, "I support Hearts, so I'll eat the heart. The Irishman says, "Which bit can I have?" The Englishman says, "Well what team do you support?" The Irishman looks sad and says "Aresnal."
5. An Englishman a Scottish man and an Irishman find a wishing bridge, so the Englishman jumps off and says "Money" and he lands in huges piles of money. The Scotish man jumps off and says, "Hot girls" and he lands in a bed full of hot naked girls.The Irishman is about to jump and say "Gold" but he trips and says, "Oh shit."
6. An Englishman a Scottish man and an Irishman are on a wishing slide. The Englishman goes down and says "Gold" and lands in a pile of gold the Scotishman goes down and says "Silver" and lands in a pile of silver. The Irish man goes down and he doesn't know that it's a wishing slide and he says "Wweeeeeee!"
7. An Irishman walks into a bar: "Ouch, a metal bar!"
8. An Irishman tried to blow up a bus. He burnt his lips on the exaust pipe.
9. How do you kill a submarine full of Irishmen? Knock on the hatch!
More at:
http://www.office-humour.co.uk/item.cfm?itm=2131
Irish Wedding Tale
A wedding occurred, just outside Cavan in Ireland. To keep tradition going, everyone got drunk and the bride's and groom's families have a storming row and begin wrecking the reception room and generally kicking the crap out of each other.
The Police get called in to break up the fight. The following week, all members of both families appear in court. The fight continues in the court room until the Judge finally brings calm with the use of his hammer, shouting "Silence in Court".
The court room goes silent and Paddy (the best man) stands up and says, "Judge.. I was the best man at the wedding and I think I should explain what happened". The Judge agrees and asks Paddy to take the stand. Paddy begins his explanation by telling the court that it is traditional in a Cavan wedding that the Best Man gets the first dance with the Bride. The judge says "OK".
"Well", said Paddy, "After I had finished the first dance, the music kept going, so I continued dancing to the second song, and after that the music kept going and I was dancing to the third song.. when all of a sudden the Groom leapt over the table, ran towards us and gave the Bride an unmerciful kick in her privates".
The Judge instantly responded... "God.. that must have hurt!"
Paddy replies "HURT!.. He broke three of my fingers."
Other stories at:
http://www.lifeisajoke.com/irish_html.htm
Wedding Night
Paddy and Bridget had just got married. It was their wedding night in the bridal suite. Bridget was lying on her back on the bed in an incredible shimmering silky neglige whimpering "Take me Paddy, take me now".
Paddy (having been a good catholic boy) was a virgin and didn`t have the faintest idea what to do next. Suddenly he had a brilliant idea. He dashed out of the room and went to reception to ring his mum for advice. Her advice was to put the hardest part of his body into where Bridget wees. Paddy was a bit dubious about this but his mother assured him that Bridget would love it. Paddy came back in to the bedroom triumphantly, asked Bridget if she was ready. Bridget shouted, "Yes, Yes, I`m ready" and then watched in amazement as Paddy ran into the bathroom and put his head down the toilet.
Tap Dancer
Did you hear about the Irishman who was tap dancing?
A. He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink!
Many more stories:
http://www.madirish.com/
Irish Pub Joke
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.
"Why of course", comes the reply.
The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland", replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Lets have another round to Ireland."
"Of course", replies the second man.
Curious, the first man then asks: "Wherein Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin", comes the reply.
"I can't believe it", says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."
"Of course", replies the second man.
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?"
"Saint Mary's", replies the second man. "I graduated in '62."
"This is unbelievable", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and graduated in '62, too!"
About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
"What's been going on?", he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much", replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."
Many more:
http://www.poddys.com/jokes/jokes_002.htm
Irish toast
May there always be work for your hands to do.
May your purse always hold a coin or two.
May the sun always shine warm on your windowpane.
May the rainbow be certain to follow each rain.
May the hand of a friend always be near you.
And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.
Author Unknown
http://www.yuni.com/library/docs/610.html
An Irish love story
The village of Glenbeigh, County Kerry is home to the beach where it is said the Celtic lovers Oisin (pronounced O-sheen) and Niamh (pronounced Nee-iv) departed Ireland and galloped across the waves to The Land of Eternal Youth.
After three hundred years, a time that felt like three weeks to Oisin, he returned to visit his native land. He accidentally fell from his horse and turned into an old man. It is said that from time to time a mystical girl on a white horse can be seen along the sand dunes, still looking for her sweetheart!
Other Irish love stories have been immortalized in the movies of Hollywood. Trace the steps of John Wayne and Maureen O ‘Hara who starred in 'The Quiet Man,' which was filmed in the scenic area of Cong, County Mayo. Or travel to the Dingle Peninsula, County Kerry, where Robert Mitchum starred in the legendary movie 'Ryan’s Daughter'.
County Sligo was a major inspiration in the work of the Irish poet William Butler Yeats who penned such classic love poems as 'When You Are Old' and 'A Poet to His Beloved'. Visit the land of Yeats and the urge to write your very own poem of love may prove too great to resist!
More at:
http://www.goireland.com/Valentine_05/valentine.htm
17) If you haven't seen it already in the bookstores, or "talked" about it here and I missed it, let me tell you about a new adult novel you will definitely be interested in. It's Ireland: A Novel
by Frank Delaney. Not only is it about one of my favorite places on the planet but it is about a seanchai!! I'm only on page 160 of a 500+ page book but it is fabulous. It weaves the stories and myths about Ireland the storyteller tells with a 1951 rural Irish setting. Ronan, a nine-year old boy is so in awe of the storyteller that when the seanchai leaves he is devastated and obsessed with finding him. The parts about the storyteller and Ronan show how powerful storytelling can be. As a (children's) librarian, storyteller and lover of all things Irish, I highly recommend this!
Kat M.
18) An Irish Friendship Wish
May there always be work for your hands to do;
May your purse always hold a coin or two;
May the sun always shine on your windowpane;
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;
May the hand of a friend always be near you;
May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.
Margaret S. 3/13/09
(Page updated 7/14/03; 10/9/05; 2/14/06; 3/15/09)
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FEATURED BOOK 1 
by Susan Campbell Bartoletti. (2005 - Ages 9-12)
by Robert D. San Souci with Sally Wern Comport (illus). (2002 - Ages 4-8)
by Bryce Milligan with Helen Cann (illus). 
by Barbara Steadman. (2000 - Ages 4-8)
by Linda Shute. 
by Hermionie Templeton. (2001 - Kindle edition)
by Anna Marlis Burgard with Leighanne Dees (illus). (2005 - Ages 4-8)
by Tana French. (2007 - Ages 9-12) (Kindle edition) 
by Shirley Climo with Loretta Krupinski (illus). (2000 - Ages 4-8)
by Philip Smith (editor). 
by Batt Burns (adapter) with Igor Oleynikov (illus). (2009 - Ages 9-12)
by Kelly Clinch. (2008 - Ages 4-8)
by Tom Tierney. (1992)
by Bergerac (editor). (1998)
by Kathleen Krull with David McPhail (illus). (2009 - Ages 9-12)
by Maire Welford. (2006 - Kindle Edition)
by Gerald McDermott. (1990 - AGes 4-8)
by Sarah Kirwan Blazek with James Rice (illus). (1995 - Ages 4-8)
by Morgan Llywelyn. (1997 - Young Adult) 
by Peter Berresford Ellis. (2002) 
by David Riley with Angelika Pia Schmid-Riley (illus). (2008)
by W.B. Yeats. (2004 reprint) 
by Yvonne Caroll with Robin Lawrie (illus). 
by R.F. Foster. (2002)
by Marie Heaney with P.J. Lynch (illus). (2000)
by Geoffrey Johnson. (1999)
by David McWilliams. (2008)
by Victoria Lynn Schultz
by Ivan Robertson with Katy Bratun (illus). (2000 - Ages 4-8)
by Debbie Dadey and Marcia T. Jones. (1992 - Ages 9-12)
by Lorna Balian and Lecia Balian. (2004 - Ages 4-8)
by Teddy Slater. (2008 - Ages 4-8)
by Natasha Wing with Amy Wummer (illus). (2009 - Ages 4-8) 
by Eve Bunting with Jan Brett (illus). (1983 - Ages 4-8)
by Gerald McDermott. 
by Eve Bunting with Emily Arnold McCully (illus). (2006 - Ages 4-8)
by Stephen Krensky with Dan Andreasen (illus). (2007 - Ages 4-8)
and 
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