FARTS - POO-POO - PEE-PEE - WEE-WEE - POOPS |
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FARTS - POO-POO - PEE-PEE - WEE-WEE - POOPS Stories, Folktales, Folklore, Fairy Tales, Legends, Myths, History, Nursery Rhymes, Fantasy & Facts Scroll down or click on your choice below • Books about Farts - Poo-Poo - Wee-Wee • SOS - Searching Out Stories-Farts/Poo-Poo/Wee-Wee Advice, Comments and References from Storytellers, Teachers and Librarians |
BOOKS ABOUT FARTS - POO-POO - PEE-PEE - WEE-WEE - POOPS - ALL AGES
Book titles in dark blue and underlined. Click on them to get more information.
To retell these stories, get permission from the copyright holder if material is not in the public domain.
Alphabetized with short descriptions for your convenience and to save you research time.
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Art of the Fart (The)
by Steve Bryant. (2004)For those who delight in the rude, who have fun with the foul, nothing could be more entertaining than this unique look at the world’s most embarrassing sound and aroma. Illustrated with hilariously subtitled images from silent and other movies, it offers pure, unadulterated amusement. Peruse the 2,000-word glossary of various “farts” and “farters.” Find out about Farts in History, and how they changed the world. |
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Blame It on the Dog: A Modern History of the Fart
by Jim Dawson. (2006)Did you know that James Joyce liked to smell his wife’s farts? That some fish communicate by expelling gas? Or that the Pentagon is developing weapons of mass olfactory destruction (WMOD)? From flatulent dogs and fart fetishists to poot-proof underwear and anti-stink pills, eminent fartologist Jim Dawson sniffs out the latest and greatest fart stories of the past century. Plumbing the far reaches of politics, pop culture, science, and literature, this stinker of a bathroom book will leave you gasping for air. |
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Farley Farts by Birte Muller. (2003 - Ages 4-8)Although the doctor says it will pass, Farley the frog is embarrassed that he cannot stop farting and tries to control himself, but when he swells up like a balloon things are even worse. |
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Fart Proudly: Writings of Benjamin Franklin You Never Read in School by Benjamin Franklin. (2003)A mention of flatulence might conjure images of bratty high school boys or lowbrow comics. But one of the most eloquent - and least expected - commentators on the subject is Benjamin Franklin. Reminding us of the humorous, irreverent side of this American icon, these essays endure as both hilarious satire and a timely reminder of the importance of a free press. |
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Gas We Pass (The): The Story of Farts (My Body Science)
by Shinta Cho. (2001 - Ages 4-8)A reassuring and humorous addition to the series including Everyone Poops presents curious readers with a straightforward, relatable look at a natural body function, explaining how and why gas is produced and eliminated. |
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I Love to Fart Cookbook by Tyrone Princone. (1983)Reader: Outstanding book of recipes, fart history and little known facts. Each recipe is rated. Humorous comments about each recipe are included. Something for everyone. My favorite is Thunder Wafers! Reader: Not only does this book contain recipes, any man would love, it was fun to read as well. Wonderful entertainment, made me laugh until I cried. My family's favorite recipe, Those Stadium Stinkers! |
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Joel's Journal and Fact-Filled Fart Book by Donald Wetzel. (1994) Records the trials and tribulations of 11 year Joel Mann in his attempt to prove to his father that he is capable of writing a book, that happens to be about flatulence. On his way to becoming a local outcast, young Joel learns about life, friendship, hypocrisy, and heartbreak as he collects more than 100 funny specimens to include in the Fact-Filled Fart Book. Alphabetized, Joel's poignant observations. |
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Jurassic Fart (Barf-i-Rama #12) by Pat Pollari. (1997 - Ages 9-12) When a deadly gas knocks out everyone in Sam's house and kills his pet mouse, Sam follows a trail of clues that leads to the discovery of a killer fart that may have wiped out the dinosaurs and may now be back to eliminate humankind. |
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Magic Fart (The) by Piers Anthony. (2003) The long awaited sequel to Pornucopia! "Picking up where Pornucopia left off, our hero Prior Gross receives word that his ideal woman, which he never knew existed, is in trouble! Off he goes to the Land of Fartingale where farts are magic!" A rollicking good time! |
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Smart Feller Fart Smeller: And Other Spoonerisms by Jon Agee. (2006 - Ages 9-12)Everybody says spoonerisms. They happen by accident when you’re talking or thinking too fast and you flip-flop the initial sounds of words. Like when you mean to say HANDLE WITH CARE, but it comes out CANDLE WITH HAIR. Or when A WELL-OILED BICYCLE comes out A WELL-BOILED ICICLE, or THANKS FOR DOING THE CHORES turns into THANKS FOR CHEWING THE DOORS. |
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Walter the Farting Dog
by William Kotzwinkle and Glenn Murray with Audrey Colman (illus). (2001 - Ages 4-8)When Betty and Billy rescued Walter from the pound, they never imagined that such a cute dog was capable of such unpleasant and frequent smells -- Walter passes gas constantly! But just when the dog seems destined to be returned to the pound, a remarkable event turns him into a hero, and his new family learns to live with his smells. |
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Who Cut the Cheese: A Cultural History of the Fart by Jim Dawson. (2004)A cut above anything else on the subject, this book gets to the bottom of thesubject of flatulence with facts and humor. |
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SOS - SEARCHING OUT STORIES AND INFORMATION ABOUT FARTS - POO-POO - WEE-WEE - POOPS
Advice, Comments and References from Storytellers, Teachers and Librarians
(excerpts from Storytell posts plus original research)
Book titles and online links are in dark blue and underlined. Click on them to get more stories and information.
To retell stories, get permission from the copyright holder if the material is not in the public domain.
Listed in chronological order as they are received by Story Lovers World.
1) Since we are returning to this topic again (the child is still in all of us) you might like to read about the greatest farter of them all. Pujol had one of the most successful music-hall acts ever in Paris at the turn of the last century.
Read on here:
http://easyweb.easynet.co.uk/~lofty/pujol.htm
2) I've found Pujol, the fartiste.
http://easyweb.easynet.co.uk/%7Elofty/pujol.htm
And I've found Legendary farts on D. Ashliman's site
http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/fart.html
3) My grandfather raised his children in the style of extreme Christian fundmentalism - US style. No swearing, perfume, haircutting for women, longer dresses for women, no jewelry, no SINNING. For a number of years he and grandma lived in the remote rural area - no inside toilets. One day they were moving the outhouse over a clean, empty hole. My aunt was on the back end of the moving, and didn't watch her step as well as she should have. She slipped. And her mouth slipped. S--t! and Grandpa didn't yell at her.
4) At the end of this is my skeleton of "The Historic Fart" from Tales from 1001 Arabian Nights
Don't forget "The Miller's Tale" from The Canterbury Tales (Penguin Classics)
Here's the story, but I'll then send a second mail with another great tale which Tim S. once posted here.
"The Historic Fart" bones
Abu Hasan persuaded to remarry after many years. Great feast. At end of meal he got up to join bride in bed - all eyes on him - enormous fart. So ashamed he fled to sea. First ship. Stayed in India 10 years. Abu Hassan tells himself, "Here in the countryside, time moves slowly and memories are long. In the hustle and bustle of the city, everything will have been forgotten..." Returns to Baghdad - disguise - "pray God all forgotten." Overhears girl "How old am I exactly? Must know to have my horoscope made." "You were born on night of Abu Hasan's great fart." Abu Hassan runs from Bagdad, "Abu, thy fart will surely be remembered to the very end of time."
Hugh wrote:
I love telling this story which I first heard told by Linda Cotterill (from London) several years ago, when I was just starting to tell stories. I'd forgotten most of the details and I haven't looked for the original, so my version is more of a 'reconstruction'. I love the ending when Abu Hasan is resting on the banks of the Tigris after his long journey. He observes the hustle and bustle of the great city around him and thinks, surely, these people do not think of what happened in the past. Then he sees the great rock on which, each year, the level of the flood is recorded, each labelled with the name and year of the Caliph. Except that one is labelled "The Year of Abu Hassan's Fart."
Hugh then added:
Dear Richard,
in fact, in the version I tell, Abu Hassan tells himself, "here in the countryside, time moves slowly and memories are long. In the hustle and bustle of the city, everything will have been forgotten... (and on into the ending..). Abu Hassan hears his own name three times before he turns and leaves Bagdad for ever. The first time is similar to your ending, the second is from two farmers arguing about the size of the harvest(" this is not our biggest harvest because that was in the year of...)
"I sat next to the Duchess at tea.
It was just as I feared it would be.
Her rumblings abdominal
Were simply phenomenal
And everyone thought it was me!"
richard@tellatale.eu
5) I seem to have a bit of a collection of the type of stories you're looking for...
• There's a story usually set in a fishing camp or logging camp where someone complains about the cooking. The cook says, "One more complaint and you do the cooking." No more complaints follow, but one troublemaker starts making faces and gagging noises when eating. So the cook makes him a moose turd pie. When the troublemaker tastes it, he says, "This is moose turd pie."
• There's another story about who pushed the outhouse in the river.
• I received an email with a joke about grizzly bears, largest bear in North America, and their scat (droppings). I merged that joke with a personal story and got the following:
Maybe these will give you some ideas for your own stories.
http://www.katedudding.com/
6) Folk rhyme in two variants:
"Beans, beans, the musical fruit,
The more you eat, the more you toot,
The more you toot, the better you feel,
So eat your beans with every meal!"
or
"Beans, beans, they're good for your heart.
The more you eat, the more you fart.
The more you fart, the better you feel,
So eat your beans with every meal."
Provenance: Unknown, but PROBABLY British and US ca. early 20th century
Folk Joke, ca. second half of 20th century, British and US:
Celebrity X is riding in a carriage with the Queen of England. The carriage horse lets loose with a mighty fart. The Queen apologizes to the celebrity, who says, "That's all right. I thought it was the horse."
Response
Apparently it's true. It appeared in the obituary of a prominent British army officer last year in The (London) Sunday Times. He was riding his horse in front of a band of pipers and drummers and his horse farted. He said, "Sorry about that, Corps of Drums." "That's all right, sir. We thought it was the horse." Sorry, I don't have details.
Limerick:
"I sat next to the duchess at tea.
It was just as I feared it would be.
Her rumblings abdominal
Were simply abominal.
And everyone thought it was me!"
7) Now I don't have any stories but I do have an image that I have used in a witch tale: In Costa Rica they have outhouses in the back country homes. Now we are talking warm, wet climate here where things grow. Well if you dig a hole and put food in it things will come to feast.......long, slimy white things. I found the concept very ecologically sound and simple, for it is nature. Organic toilets. Now if we had more of those than maybe there wouldn't be such a problem of polution (from that aspect) in the world. Also in Costa Rica it is said that a fart released is better than having friends too close.
Let's see maybe I should give you the bones of the witch story:
It's called "Monday, Tuesday, Wed. 3"
Two men live in a village and both have goiters on their throats.
One man is kind (poor) the other mean (rich)
Kind man ends up in forest where there are 3 witches living and they are singing a song,
"Monday, Tuesday, Wed, 3" over and over and over again.
Man is hiding in fear but can't take the story any more so he stands up and sings out in a goitery voice:
"Thursday, Friday, Sat, 6"
Witches are so happy that he fixed their song that they cut off his goiter throw it in the outhouse and give him gold.
Mean man is upset about this and wants to get rid of his goiter and wants gold too so he goes into forest and waits for the witches. When they appear they sing the song,
"Monday, Tuesday, Wed, 3---Thrusday, Friday, Sat, 6" over and over again
He stands up from hiding and sings out in a goitery voice,
"Sunday 7".
Witches are not happy and remove the first goiter from the outhouse and but it on the back of the mean man's throat.
It's a Costa Rica folktale but someone said that they have heard from somewhere else. It is a poor vrs rich theme but I don't like those themes so I made it a good/greedy theme. You can do a lot with this and set it in a forest in Finland (mine is a haunted forest in Costa Rica of course) I really play on the outhouse scene with slurpy sounds. One boy really enjoyed that and said, "Cool."
Response
It's known in Ireland, too. There is a version in Kevin Crossley-Holland's book Folk Tales of the British Isles
. The two men have humps on their backs and the singers are fairies.
Response: That's similar to a Galician tale. Woman disguises herself as a witch, goes to Seville to join a witch party, "improves" their song by adding, "And Sunday 7," and witches disappear in a puff of smoke.
8) I've always found it strange that farting is so amusing. Even the ancient Romans found it funny--some of the comedies are full of slapstick and farting. The first Scooby Doo movie had a running gag about farting, including a fart contest! (haven't seen the second movie--maybe they continue the gag in it, too.)
9) There is a story out there somewhere called The Shitting Donkey that is good. The bare, bare bones are that a man puts coins up the rear end of the donkey and then tricks another man into buying the donkey because it is valuable and of course, it is only full of . . . two children. One thinks positively, one thinks negatively. Father likes the negative child. Gives the positive child a room full of horse manure. Goes in an expects to see child in tears. Child is cheerfully digging. With this much s--t in here, there's got to be a pony under there!
Response: Another world tale, this time a trickster tale. It's been told about Nasreddin, for instance, who sells the donkey either to a greedy man or to a shah or other ruler (depending on the location of the tale).
Response: Here is one version:
richard@tellatale.eu
10) Here are a few of stories that I found in my archived mails from Storytell, fitting the topic I was looking for (the under belt one...) :
Out of the mouths of babes comes the "Dead Cat Test," a true story:
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat.
She asked if it was dead or alive.
"Dead," she was informed.
"How do you know?", she asked.
"Because I pissed in his ear and it didn't move," said the child innocently.
"You did WHAT?!?", the teacher squealed in surprise.
"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'pssst' and he didn't move."
It was opening night at the Orpheum and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff. As Claude took to the stage, he announced, "Unlike most stage hypnotists who >invite two or three people up onto the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience." The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. Its been in my family for six generations. He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch...."The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.
"Shit " said the hypnotist.
It took three weeks to clean up the theater.
"A Camper's Letter"
A very proper older lady and her husband were planning a week's camping trip. She looked over literature from many campgrounds and saw several she thought looked promising. But she wanted to be sure that the campground she chose was fully equipped and modern in every way so she decided to write for more detailed information. Being prudish by nature she couldn't bring herself to write "toilet" in her letter and so she decided on the old-fashioned term "bathroom commode." She thought even that was a little rakish, so she finally settled for an abbreviation "BC" and wrote "Does your campground have its own BC?" The campground owner couldn't figure out what the woman meant by BC. He showed the letter to several campers, one of whom suggested that the reference must be to a Baptist Church. So the owner sent this reply:
Dear Madam,
The B.C. is located nine miles from the campground in a beautiful grove of trees. I admit it is quite a distance if you are in the habit of going regularly. You will be pleased to know that it seats 350 people at one time and is open on Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday. Some folks take a long a lunch and make a day of it, especially on Thursdays when there is an organ concert. The acoustics are very good so everyone can hear even the quietest passages. It may interest you to know that my daughter met her husband there. We also are having a fund-raiser for new seats; the old seats have holes in them. Unfortunately, my wife is ill and has not been able to attend regularly. It's been six months since she last went. It pains her very much not to be able to go more often. As we grow older it seems to be more of an effort, especially in cold weather. Perhaps I could accompany you the first time you go, sit with you, and introduce you to some of the other folks who will be there. I look forward to your visit.
11) My mother used to tell (with a wonderful smirk on her face--she enjoyed it so much) a joke about the "woo woo bird." Here is a short version:
A tramp (could be any person, really) had to go, but couldn't find a public rest room in the park, so he just squatted down behind some bushes and did his business. Just as he was finished, a police officer spotted him and asked what he was doing. The tramp quickly put his hat over his leavings, and said, "Haven't you heard? The woo woo bird has escaped from the zoo, and I caught it. It is under this hat. There is a reward for its capture, and if you'll help me, I'll share it with you. If you'll stay here and hold the hat over the bird, I'll run and get the zoo keeper." So, the police officer squatted down and very carefully held the hat in place, and the tramp fled. A little while later, another police officer came along and the first officer told him about the woo woo bird. The second officer said, "Say, why share the reward with the tramp? We can take the bird to the zoo and keep the reward for ourselves! You lift up the hat, and I'll reach in and grab it." The first officer very carefully lifted up the edge of the hat, and the second officer quickly reached in and grabbed. A strange look came over his face. The first officer asked, "Is it in there?" "Yes." "Did you catch it?" "Yes" "Well, what is the matter?" The second officer said, sorrowfully, "I caught it, but I broke every bone in its little body!"
Response
Those from England may know the name of Ken Campbell - of the Ken Campbell Road Show. He used to act in the local theatre when I was a boy, the Victoria Theatre in Stoke on Trent. I remember hearing him tell the same story about a butterfly, must have been 1970. But in his punchline the policeman, when asked if he had caught it, replied: "No, I haven't. But I HAVE given it a hell of a fright!"
12) "The Farting Stone" in English
"Pruttstenen" in Swedish
"Pierukivi" in Finnish
(AT 593) Once upon a time there was a young man, who was very much in love with the daughter from a nearby house. The parents of the daughter stood in between them and forbid their daughter ever to marry such a poor crofter’s lad that he was. But the courter was a very ingenious young man. He remembered that he once had been given a stone by a witch, and anyone blowing on the stone immediately began to fart.
At the fiancée’s house the daughter usually got up earlier than the other in the morning to make coffee. When the young man noticed this, he came unnoticed late one evening and put the stone under the stove. When the daughter the next morning came to put fire in the stove, she blew on the coal to get the fire going. The magic from the stone was so strong, that she couldn’t blow a single puff without farting and farting.
When the others didn’t get their coffee, the mother came to the kitchen to see what had happened. There she saw her daughter by the stove farting. The mother began scolding her, pushed her away to make the fire herself - and it didn’t take long before she was standing beside her daughter with the same farting disease.
Finally the father got up, came out into the kitchen, started blowing on the coals, but became as his daughter and wife. When they all had gotten the same illness they thought that the devil had moved into theri house. So they sent for the priest to chase the devil out. And, what happened? He caught the bug!
The priest couldn’t stay like this, so after his sermon he proclaimed that the one making him better from the fartyfartdisease will get half of his yearly wages.
Suddenly the father got up, and shouted: ”And the one who can cure me from this fartyfartdisease will get my house and my daughter!” The young man happened to sit next to the father in church and asked him: ”Do you keep your promises?” ”Under all circumstances!”, the father replied. So, the courter went to the house and took away the stone from the stove. And at that instant everyones was cured! The poor crofter’s lad became a rich man, with both a house and half of the priest’s wages. And when he also got to marry the love of his life, then it was really worth living!
13) There is a great story about "number two" in the Pentamerone. English Stories from the Pentamerone
Lilla and Lolla buy a goose at the market and the bird droppeth golden coins; a neighbor beggeth them to lend it to her, and finding the contrary, attempteth to slay it, and casts it out of the window. The bird, not being dead, taketh hold of the hindparts of a prince who is doing a thing of need to nature. He crieth aloud for aid, but none of the realm can pull her off from him but Lolla, for which reason he taketh her to wife.
It's The Goose, the first diversion of the fifth day.
14) There's even an Irish folksong version. "De Luain, De Mairt" or "Monday, Tuesday". Spellings may vary! I found a version of the song with only the first part (where the man with the hunchback is cured) and wrote verses for the second part (when the greedy man is cursed with the first's hump).
15) I actually slipped and said the "s--t" word in class the other day when I realized that the book cards for the expensive texts for which the students are responsible had been thrown away. (Darling kids just nicely brought the book numbers back in and made new cards for me). Students who hadn't quite heard asked me to repeat it -- I said I couldn't, but I would tell them what my mother always said if any of us said that word: "Ew, you just had something in your mouth that I wouldn't even hold in my hand." . . . and we would say, "Gross, Mom!" and not say that word again.
16) A woman made preparations for a party to welcome a special guest, and she sent her husband into town to buy the "hundreds and thousands", the Irish term for those colourful decorations you sprinkle on the icing of cakes, especially the small shiny silvery balls she had seen on the cakes made by another baker. The husband didn't understand what she wanted, and so when he asked in the shops they didn't know what he meant. He ended up in a bicycle shop, where they sold him a large box of ball bearings, which the wife sprinkled on the cakes. When her guests bit into the cakes, they found something they couldn't chew. Some wandered out into the garden to see what the weather might be like the following day, and disposed of the ball bearings when no one was looking. But some just swallowed them. Two women met the following morning.
"Did you try any of Hannah's cakes last night?"
"I did, and I'm sorry I did. I was up and down all night, and my husband was going to send for the priest. Did they have any effect on you?"
"Effect? I thought I had appendicitis. My right side was dead, and it felt like a lump of lead inside. I thought if I passed a bit of gas I would feel better, and when I bent down to light the fire I did, and I shot the cat."
Summarised from Ireland's Master Storyteller: The Collected Stories of Eamon Kelly
I wrote a short story, published in the 1980s, inspired by a story going around in the 1970s. I'm not sure I have the details of the original right. Richard Nixon looked out the window one morning and summoned Henry Kissinger.
"Henry, I see your name written in the snow. What's that all about?"
"Well, Chief, I drank a lot of tea last night and I was short-taken [Irish term for having to pee urgently], so I wrote my name in the snow [male term for peeing al fresco]."
"But, Henry, can you explain why it's in Pat's handwriting?"
[Note for the young: Pat was Nixon's wife. Nixon was said to be impotent. Pat was suspected of having an affair with Kissinger, who some women found sexy. It's quite possible that none of this is true.]In snowy countries, there is a tradition of women competing to see who can pee farthest into a block of snow or ice, the reasoning (?) behind this apparently being that the more you can pee the more sexually potent you are. An Irish variant has Cúchulainn's wife, Emer, winning the contest.On a serious, scholarly and academic note:
http://www.legendarytours.com/storyteller.html
In an "Archaeology Ireland" (Spring 2002) article entitled "A breath of fresh air: rectal music in Gaelic Ireland," Greer Ramsey lists the braigeteóir (professional farter) among the king's entertainers. Ramsey suggests that the two figures on the extreme right of John Derricke's famous woodcut "Mac Sweyne's Feast" are not just warming their backsides or mooning the chieftain and his lady but are, in fact, braigeteóirí.
And to lower the tone again, I'll repeat this contribution I sent to the list last year.
Carreño, a famous wit of the 19th century in Málaga, was about to carve a stuffed turkey. His friends came to him and said, "Carreño, listen carefully. We are going to do to you exactly what you do to that turkey." Carreño set his knife and fork back on the table, stuck his finger into the part of the bird through which the stuffing is stuffed, and sucked his finger juicily.
17) I just found the story I alluded to earlier.
This was in the obituary of Sir Gregor MacGregor (1925-2003), clan chief. As brigadier, MacGregor was passing in front of the brigade band when his mount noisily broke wind. "Sorry about that, Brigade of Drums," he called out. "That's all right, sir," a piper retorted. "We thought it was the horse." "The Daily Telegraph," quoted in "The Sunday Times" 20/4/03.
18) I remember the rhyme a bit differently.
"Beans, beans, the musical fruit
The more you eat, the more you toot.
The more you toot, the better you feel,
So eat your beans with every meal."
Which reminds me of the day I was reading a story to my grandson, about age 3 at the time. I heard a noise that came from him. He looked up at me distressed. Grandma, I tooted. I think it was a squishy toot. So he left the couch and went to the bathroom. When he returned he looked relieved. No, he sighed, it was a dry toot.
19) Pat Speight from Cork said at one of the Dublin Yarnspinners gatherings, "There are three things I've learned not to trust: women, politicians, and, especially at my age [the kid's all of 50!], never, never trust a fart."
20) I would recommend Ben Franklin and his "Fart Proudly" philosophy. Old Ben had some interesting remarks on older mistresses as well. . . . . what a scamp!
21) Well, this isn't a real story...but a thought. My friend, Dick Holdstock, a folk musician told me that when his Dad was very ill and dying, he commented on how he'd like to have a good crap. He said that the most under-rated thing in the world was having a good crap. I've thought of that many times with renewed pleasure. How about outhouse stories and revising them to #2 eventk? Then there's the song I love to sing for all ages. Learned it at a Minnesota camp.
"Sweet Nellie Bliss
Went out to piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick some flowers
She slipped in the grass
Way up to her aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaankle tops
She went to the coop
TO let out a poooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrr little chicken
The coop fell apart
She let out a faaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr reaching cry
There she sits
There she shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivers in the moon light
Sweet Nellie Bliss
Never did piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick those flowers."
22) I learned a story from Richard Martin on this list back in 1997. Since he hasn't told it in this thread, ...
Yes, you're right. Of course it fits well here. And here is my skeleton of the tale. Together with details of Angela Carter's book where I first met it:
richard@tellatale.eu
23) When passing gas,a friend of mine would always say "stepped on a frog" especially if it was a loud one. He would also use "barking spiders" as an explanation for a series of little toots. Invariably we would hear from barking spiders whenever we got together....and oh so many frogs were stepped on!
Response:
I thought my Houston friend was teasing when she told me about those, and then we heard them: very small frogs whose noctural peeps really sound like puppies yapping. The oddest part is that these frogs like to cling to tree trunks and under the damp eaves of buildings, not a height from which you expect to hear puppies bark.
24) I learned a story from Richard Martin on this list back in 1997. Since he hasn't told it in this thread, ... I understand this is a traditional Egyptian story. The plot revolves around an assumption that it's acceptable for a husband to beat his wife. That's not your interest here, so I'll skip to the scatalogical motif. A friend convinces the newly-wedded husband that he should make an excuse to beat his new wife. So the husband tells his wife, "We'll have an important guest for supper. I bought this fish for you to cook for us." He leaves the house. The wife notices he is acting oddly. She divides the fish and boils part of it, bakes part of it, and fries part of it. At supper time, the baby crawls across the kitchen floor and defecates there. The wife hears her husband at the door, so with no time to clean the mess, she covers it with a cooking pot. The husband introduces his important friend and asks for their supper. The wife serves the boiled fish. The husband says "But I wanted it baked." So the wife serves the baked fish. The husband says "No! I mean, I wanted it fried." So the wife serves the fried fish. The husband says "No! I mean, I wanted ... Oh, shit." The wife serves the pot of feces. They lived peacefully ever after. For audiences who expect more polite stories, I tell this with a rat instead of feces. In the U.S., "Oh, rats!" is also a common exclamation of frustration. Since I think bringing up violence in the home calls for some discussion, I also usually change it from "you should beat your wife" to "you should be in command."
25) Ah, once again, memories are dredged up! I remember learning that song in junior high--I though it was hilarious at the time.
Judith
"Sweet Nellie Bliss
Went out to piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick some flowers
She slipped in the grass
Way up to her aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaankle tops
She went to the coop
TO let out a poooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrr little chicken
The coop fell apart
She let out a faaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr reaching cry
There she sits
There she shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivers in the moon light
Sweet Nellie Bliss
Never did piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick those flowers."
26) There are a number of "Diamonds and Toads" stories with the added interest of breaking wind.
There's a link in D.L.. Ashliman's folklore site to breaking wind. Here it is:
http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/fart.html
Dale P. 7/29/06
27) Fart stories:
"The Rich Man and the Poor Man"
A woman farts in front of the vizier, she asks the earth to swallow her up. It does, and in the place where she finds herself, she confronts her fart. This is a terrific inversion of the compassionate sister/greedy sister folktale where one opens her mouth and gold falls out, the other opens her mouth and snakes fall out.
Found in:
Muhawi, Ibrahim, and Sharif Kanaana. Speak, Bird, Speak Again: Palestinian Arab Folktales
"The Three Goslings"
http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/type0124.html#italy
Thomas Frederick Crane, Italian Popular Tales
Crane cites his source as: Bernoni, Dom. Giuseppe, Fiabe popolari Veneziane. Venezia, 1873.
According to storyteller Katy Rydell, the Venetian version has the wolf farting the houses down.
Tim E. 1/4/07
Created 2004; last update 10/18/09
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